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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1099
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Wednesday, 19 September, 2018 - 05:33:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Omar, old bean, I mentioned to my adult daughter that I had a mate in Dubai who I was looking forward to meeting at sometime and she put me immediately under a barrage of vicious questioning.

She is getting married October 2019 and she started to fire a number of crazy questions at my head, can Omar pick me us up at the airport, do they have hotel rooms inside aquariums, do I have to wear a burqa....

Well Omar, I did have a chuckle but I missed my chance of an evil practical joke.

First I can only find under water aquariums hotel rooms for about $8200 USD (and the fish probably wear very dark sunglasses) and I told her she does not have to wear a burqa but must dress quite conservatively: arms and legs covered, no weed smoking, no showing of public groping with husband, no public drinkies, no blasting down the road in Lamborghinis etc etc.

Thinking back on it I should have told her she had to wear the Burqa but I am still in a bit of fear about what she would have done to me after she got back to Australia after the prank!
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1672
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Thursday, 20 September, 2018 - 04:28:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Mate - first things first.
Given that she is your daughter, the Wedding car is on me. She can have a class car and Chauffeur complements of the Forum.
I am happy to pick her up from the airport and deliver her and her husband to be to their hotel too.

Dubai is a lovely place to live and indeed visit. The golden rule is to behave as though you are in the company of your parents and you will not go wrong. No bad language, no bad behaviour no being rude no insulting people and so on. People are consequently very nice to each other and the whole place gives everyone a feeling of warmth and security. Nobody will ever swear in your vicinity nor will they behave badly or be rude to you.

When we go overseas we freak out when we hear people using crude language on the streets. and to see people fighting on the streets is unheard of here -because it is simply not allowed.

The end result is a very happy place to be. Come and see for yourself.

Groping on the streets is frowned upon and can result in being cautioned. Again apply the principle that your parents are watching and you will be just fine.
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Larry Kavanagh
Prolific User
Username: shadow_11

Post Number: 213
Registered: 5-2016
Posted on Thursday, 20 September, 2018 - 08:26:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Very kind offer Omar, what a wonderful forum.
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Peter Maclaren
Experienced User
Username: ludo

Post Number: 41
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Thursday, 20 September, 2018 - 14:46:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Wouldn't it be great if everybody followed Omar's principle, that "behave as if your parents are watching". Best advice i've heard in a long time.
Like Larry says--a wonderful forum
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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1103
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Thursday, 20 September, 2018 - 15:35:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

So kind of you Omar, a true gentleman. I relayed your info to my daughter this morning and added that she needs to cover up her tattoos and, well she didn't like that bit of daddy advice as it would mean her having to wear long gloves and long sleeves and I said yes " a long pair of white ladies gloves from your fingers to your elbows " along with giggles.

Plus, no smoking of weed for two months before you arrive and you must be on your best behavior because the UAE has a different value system than ours and quite simply you cannot act the fool in Dubai and then have a sook about being flung into a Dubai prison for silliness and expect sympathy because you will not get any. Dubai is Dubai, not Australia.

So yes basically she has been read the riot act from start to finish.

Ha ha, white long ladies gloves - its a bit like dressing up the devil to look like an Mary Poppins!
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Mark Luft
Prolific User
Username: bentleyman1993

Post Number: 220
Registered: 10-2016
Posted on Friday, 21 September, 2018 - 01:13:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Hmmmm.... Why does the jail scene from "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" come to mind when I think about your daughter in Dubai, Vlad?
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 2012
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Friday, 21 September, 2018 - 06:51:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Omar youíre the man!!!!!!!

A true gentleman in every sense of the word.
Always the first with help and advice and a kind word.

A great asset to this forum, and a great asset to the world mate.

I dips my lid to you.

Iím sure Vlads daughter will be a joy to show around Dubai,
Now if Vlad decides to come over?????
Well we all need to re think that one.

Dirty rotten scoundrels sounds right
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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1105
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Friday, 21 September, 2018 - 10:45:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Steve Martin did a good job in the jail scene in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels but Richard Prior and Gene Wyder were more hilarious in the jail scene in Stir Crazy.

Getting in strife overseas is quite bad for Australians because our overseas embassies are known to be totally useless and quiet uncaring.

I know of overseas cases where the New Zealand embassies have helped Australians in trouble where the Australian embassies have done bugger all.

Thats probably due to the fact that OZ Embassies are dumping grounds for useless politicians. For example Joe Hockey is the Australian Ambassador to the USA. This guy was and no doubt still is an arrogant moronic pig who did more damage to the conservative side of politics than a neutron bomb.

Hockey along with his idiot accomplice Tony Abbot really ran amok down here and caused mass pain. But the shapers and movers behind the scenes in the Liberal Party only did half a job. They got rid of Hockey to the USA but they left bloody Abbot in the parliament where on the back bench he has acted like a demented parrot with a shocking rum habit and very nearly brought down not just the government but a government with his own party in power!

Yes they should have made Abbot the Ambassador to Nigeria and hoped somebody got him with a spear.

Right now, the government is holding on by one seat and it damn well knows if it called an election it would be massacred to oblivion.

Yes Tony would have made a fine Ambassador to Antarctica provided he only communicated with the penquins.

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