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David Towers
Prolific User
Username: xtriple

Post Number: 189
Registered: 6-2010
Posted on Saturday, 21 October, 2017 - 10:25 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I have had problems with my car over the last couple of years so when something doesn't work, I assume the worst. I have never been able to get the seat memories working, which, for the most part is not a problem, but when it is collected and taken away for servicing etc, Paul adjusts the seat and mirrors/steering wheel to suit his shorter personage. As indeed he should in my opinion. However, when it comes back I then have to faff about re-setting the seat height/angle/backrest/mirrors/steering angle. I have always thought if only the memories would work it make life sooooooo much easier.

The car has had both ecus rebuilt so all functions work properly, just not the memories and in recent weeks I have given the matter some thought... So I had a 'Google' on how to re-set the ecus (mem button 5 times then 4334 and the seats do a little dance and then the mirrors) and it is straight forward, but the car must be in park.

Err, it MUST be in 'Park' to set or adjust the seats using memories! I have always got in, set off, thought: 'this is not right' pressed buttons madly while driving and become annoyed that it doesn't work! So, if in doubt, read the manual! :-)

Anyone else have tales to tell of their own?
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Robert Noel Reddington
Grand Master
Username: bob_uk

Post Number: 1555
Registered: 5-2015
Posted on Sunday, 22 October, 2017 - 12:59 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A mot tester mistook the gear lever for the indicator switch and did 6000 worth of damage to my Shadow I got a respray new grill and front bumper for free plus 500 for not being able to use the car for a month while RR approved body shop did the job.

I dont bother with instructions until it goes wrong
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Randy Roberson
Grand Master
Username: wascator

Post Number: 776
Registered: 5-2009
Posted on Thursday, 26 October, 2017 - 09:59 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Was afraid to open this topic as I figured I would find myself on prominent display...
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michael vass
Grand Master
Username: mikebentleyturbo2

Post Number: 394
Registered: 7-2015
Posted on Sunday, 29 October, 2017 - 06:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Why Randy what have you done?
I once stripped out half my wiring to find out why my boot lock c/l wouldn't open only to find the switch in the glove box set to manual ,duuhh
Mike
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Patrick Lockyer.
Grand Master
Username: pat_lockyer

Post Number: 1592
Registered: 9-2004
Posted on Sunday, 29 October, 2017 - 08:09 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I left the keys in the dash and locked the car with the central locking.
Took a while to get back in to retrieve the keys!
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Randy Roberson
Grand Master
Username: wascator

Post Number: 787
Registered: 5-2009
Posted on Sunday, 29 October, 2017 - 10:48 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Just genersl stuff; nothing disasterous yet.
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Benoit Leus
Grand Master
Username: benoitleus

Post Number: 315
Registered: 6-2009
Posted on Monday, 30 October, 2017 - 05:35 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Well, I drove my Shadow through my garage wall ...
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Robert Noel Reddington
Grand Master
Username: bob_uk

Post Number: 1563
Registered: 5-2015
Posted on Monday, 30 October, 2017 - 05:46 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Oh dear
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Carl Heydon
Prolific User
Username: car

Post Number: 148
Registered: 2-2004
Posted on Monday, 30 October, 2017 - 05:58 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Well, I brought home an auto R-Type the other day with damaged ring gear. Manage to start it with the crank on 7 year old fuel. Drove over to show the neighbours and demonstrated the crank start, in reverse gear!
And intake leaks.
The countless hours I have spent pulling stuff apart and adjusting valves and carbies....
Now if I get a flat tyre I check for an intake leak before getting the jack out.
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Geoff Wootton
Grand Master
Username: dounraey

Post Number: 1834
Registered: 5-2012
Posted on Monday, 30 October, 2017 - 06:09 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I once started my engine, after some downtime, to find it was running really rough. I stopped it and found I had left the spark plug leads disconnected on the entire A bank. I was surprised the engine even started. Luckily I did not damage it.

I'd like to claim second prize for the most stupid thing ever done to a Rolls, next to Benoit.
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 1728
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Monday, 30 October, 2017 - 06:11 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

We have some pretty good contenders here chaps.

Keep em coming.
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Kelly Opfar
Prolific User
Username: kelly_opfar

Post Number: 188
Registered: 7-2004
Posted on Monday, 30 October, 2017 - 07:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

"I'd like to claim second prize for the most stupid thing ever done to a Rolls, next to Benoit."

*Clears throat*

Hold my beer...
http://au.rrforums.net/forum/messages/17001/21753.html?1473790751
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michael vass
Grand Master
Username: mikebentleyturbo2

Post Number: 395
Registered: 7-2015
Posted on Monday, 30 October, 2017 - 07:06 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Hi all
I think we should call this the Benoit awards lol
Also I once put my arm through my window to turn the wheel and knocked it into drive and it was off like a rocket headed straight for the house opposite with me running after it!, fortunately hit a kurb and steered into a tree just as I jumped on the brake.The tree still grows at an angle and no damage done to my car phew!
Mike
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Graham Watson
Frequent User
Username: graham508

Post Number: 75
Registered: 3-2016
Posted on Monday, 30 October, 2017 - 08:53 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Well I broke the lens of my center passing lamp trying to pry the lip up to remove the lens.....
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Alan Dibley
Prolific User
Username: alsdibley

Post Number: 102
Registered: 10-2009
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 01:33 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I must have an automatic neural mechanism that blocks memories of doimg stupid things. I know I've done lots, but can't remember any!

I did once call out the RAC recovery truck to lift my Citroen CX home - I was convinced it had a rapidly failing drive-shaft universal joint (FWD remember). I impressed the tow-truck man with my obviously wide experience of all things CX.

At home I tightened the wheel-nuts (lug-nuts) on the front RH wheel and the "drive-shaft" problem disappeared. Duh.

Aha, I've just recalled dismantling most of the number 2 hydraulic system - pump (the rear one is a pita). pressure valve, pipe work, reservoir filter - after fettling a height-control valve because the pressure would not come up. It took a lot of wasted time to understand that if the spool valve in the HCV is in backwards this is what happens. Duh, again.

Alan D. (who may think of more embarrassing things 'cos he's been around longer than most).
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Mark Luft
Prolific User
Username: bentleyman1993

Post Number: 122
Registered: 10-2016
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 01:41 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

On the side of the road one day my fuel pump and wipers were acting up. I opened my boot and grabbed my tool kit. Taking the screw driver out, and removing the screws holding the relay cover in place I removed all the relays pertaining to wipers and fuel and sprayed contact cleaner on the contacts. I reinstalled all the relays and went to start the car and ALL THE DOORS WERE LOCKED. Of course the keys were in the ignition. Only by the grace of God did I have a spare set in my lunch box, which was in the boot, which was open due to my grabbing the tool kit. Could have been a disaster.
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1347
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 04:54 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I was trying to clean the air bypass valve from an old Spur that I once had. I was using petrol to clean it. When I was pleased with the outcome I went to test it using a 12v battery..... you should have seen the small fire that could have burnt my whole house down......
Young and stupid...... I wouldn't do stupid stuff like that now that I am old.
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 1730
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 06:26 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I'm sorry to say Omar, but age sometimes does not fix stupidity

I'm proof of that!!!
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Alan Dibley
Prolific User
Username: alsdibley

Post Number: 103
Registered: 10-2009
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 06:59 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Patrick is spot on. I've just discovered that the reason why the 2CV has been spreading increasing amounts of engine oil across Somerset is that I didn;t tighten the oil filter last time it was renewed a month ago. Duh3.

Alan D.
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David Gore
Moderator
Username: david_gore

Post Number: 2714
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 08:13 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Whilst overhauling the hydraulic system on DRH14434, the rear height control valves had to be removed and stripped down for removal of congealed hydraulic fluid [which I named green "flubber" in honour of the "Absent Minded Professor" from the Disney movie of the same name and which is also relevant to me as will become obvious as you read further].

The original coloured rubber sleeves identifying the pipes were missing so I duly marked the hydraulic lines for proper location when the valves were reinstalled and put the valves to one side for later cleaning. Returning to the car some days later, hydraulic fluid had leaked from the pipe work so I decided to wash the leaked fluid away with water from a trigger pack sprayer.

All seemed fine so I used an air gun to dry the wet areas and proceeded to clean and reassemble the valves. The LH valve went in without any problems; the RH valve presented a few problems as most of the tags had been damaged/obliterated by the brake fluid leaks and my subsequent water bath so guesswork accompanied by much fixing/refixing the pipework became the order of the day until I thought I had everything right and it was time to bleed the system and test the valves manually before reconnecting the valves to the rear trailing arms.

First the LH valve was bled and manually manipulated to activate the rams - success. Moved over to the RH valve and this was bled with no signs of anything being amiss. Next came manual testing the valve actuation of the ram - the ram didn't respond to the first movement of the actuating arm so I moved it further then felt a click immediately followed by a loud bang and the observation of the entire back end of the valve flying back under the car with copious amounts of hydraulic fluid pouring everywhere under the car.

A serious stuff-up had occurred - the valve was scrap, a lot of fluid was lost accompanied by my realisation that I wasn't as competent as I thought. Subsequent reflection suggested I had either connected a high-pressure feed to a low pressure return or, more likely, I had over-manipulated the travel of the valve spool allowing unregulated high-pressure fluid to push the spool hard up against the end of the valve body causing it to fracture.

Thanks to John Vawser who was able to supply me with a spare rebuilt control valve and careful identification of the pipe work associated with the valve before connecting, a successful but expensive outcome resulted with a lesson in the importance of checking and rechecking "to be sure to be sure".
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Larry Kavanagh
Prolific User
Username: shadow_11

Post Number: 106
Registered: 5-2016
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 08:23 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

While doing an oil change I forgot to replace the sump plug and having poured nearly a gallon of oil in I noticed the very large oil puddle spreading on the garage floor.
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richard george yeaman
Grand Master
Username: richyrich

Post Number: 857
Registered: 4-2012
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 09:48 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I have done the sump plug not tightened enough, the oil filter not tightened enough, I have flicked my shadow into drive by putting my hand through the open window luckily I was able to get it into neutral before it hit anything, I have ruined oil seals that caused leaks when fitting gas springs, I am sure there is more that I have forgotten or am too ashamed to admit.
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Alan Dibley
Prolific User
Username: alsdibley

Post Number: 104
Registered: 10-2009
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 06:07 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I vote that David's explosion of a HCV be awarded an extra gold star. I've never made a bang, just a few silent puddles and a curse or two.

Alan D.
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Robert Noel Reddington
Grand Master
Username: bob_uk

Post Number: 1564
Registered: 5-2015
Posted on Tuesday, 31 October, 2017 - 08:55 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

One of the advantages of being old and retired is that I dont have to be intelligent anymore.
Happy idiot.

I brought a cheap desk lamp, whilst un packing with scissors I cut the the plug off the lamp and stabbed myself
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Graham Watson
Frequent User
Username: graham508

Post Number: 76
Registered: 3-2016
Posted on Wednesday, 01 November, 2017 - 01:30 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Extra points for stabbing yourself!
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1348
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Wednesday, 01 November, 2017 - 02:42 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

How many of us have experienced a car on the floor with a collapsed jack underneath?

One thing you will notice.... this only happens to young people..... old people never ever fall victim of this trap.... I wonder why.....
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Mark Aldridge
Grand Master
Username: mark_aldridge

Post Number: 467
Registered: 10-2008
Posted on Wednesday, 01 November, 2017 - 03:32 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Been there, done it, as a 17 year old. Used axle stands ever since !
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Mark Luft
Prolific User
Username: bentleyman1993

Post Number: 126
Registered: 10-2016
Posted on Wednesday, 01 November, 2017 - 07:26 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Same here! I too was 17.
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Larry Kavanagh
Prolific User
Username: shadow_11

Post Number: 107
Registered: 5-2016
Posted on Wednesday, 01 November, 2017 - 10:11 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I used a trolley jack under the rear differential to raise the car so that I could place jack stands under the rear suspension arms. I anticipated that because the rear was being raised there was a potential danger that the car might roll forward on the front wheels so I placed chocks in front of them. The garage floor is level. As I was about to crawl underneath the car suddenly moved backwards with the front wheels rolling in reverse and the trolley jack wheels rolling in reverse also. I managed to scramble out of the way as the car continued to career backwards until the trolley jack met a hump in the concrete floor at the garage door and everything stopped moving. The trolley jack remained in place under the diff and no damage was done but it was a scary moment. On reflection the fact that the rear was raised no longer had a bearing on what direction the car was likely to move in once the rear tyres left the floor. The relationship of the front wheels and trolley jack wheels now became a new balancing equation. The floor was level and the only reason I can think of for the car starting to roll backwards is that the raising of the trolley jack causes the balancing point where the jack meets the car to be pulled backwards. Ever since I make sure to chock both the front and rear of the front wheels whenever raising the rear end. Fortunately I was lucky and learned my lesson and am here to tell the tale. It's scary when a car starts rolling towards you while you're crawling underneath.
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ross kowalski
Grand Master
Username: cdfpw

Post Number: 612
Registered: 11-2015
Posted on Wednesday, 01 November, 2017 - 10:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Ok, those all sound a lot like accidental stupidity or ignorance. That is excusable, the real bad stuff is when you are trying.

But in the interest of becoming less stupid here are some solid tips.

Just over 14psi of boost on a volvo 740 grenades the motor.

A 2001 Mercedes estate will carry 3200lbs of coal no matter what the manual recommends.

A 2010 VW TDI can be driven for 50 miles on secondary roads without using the brakes or clutch.

A 81 vw diesel will run using stale gas and paint thinner as a fuel.

1" is not enough ice to support a jeep cj5 while you are doing donuts.

The entire self leveling system on a silber schatten can be replaced with the $40 hand pump from a hydraulic ram.

A 14' 2" diameter birch log cannot be used as a tow rope.
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 1731
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Wednesday, 01 November, 2017 - 09:11 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Good advice Ross

I have printed these tips off, laminated them and placed them into the glove box of the Shadow for future reference.
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Robert Noel Reddington
Grand Master
Username: bob_uk

Post Number: 1565
Registered: 5-2015
Posted on Wednesday, 01 November, 2017 - 09:32 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Tripped over a jack handle
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Graham Watson
Frequent User
Username: graham508

Post Number: 77
Registered: 3-2016
Posted on Thursday, 02 November, 2017 - 04:57 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Spent an entire day once removing and replacing a windscreen and frame on my Sunbeam Alpine due to scratches on the glass only to find that the convertible top latch points which were cast into the replacement windscreen frame were not the same width as the original. Just to finish the job properly I cracked the original windscreen when I was re-installing it.
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Robert Noel Reddington
Grand Master
Username: bob_uk

Post Number: 1566
Registered: 5-2015
Posted on Thursday, 02 November, 2017 - 06:22 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A guy was mowing his lawn in flip flops.
He cut his big toe off which flew up and took his eye out. QI BBC TV
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ross kowalski
Grand Master
Username: cdfpw

Post Number: 613
Registered: 11-2015
Posted on Thursday, 02 November, 2017 - 11:49 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Graham,

I had pulled the windscreen on my sunbeam (67) to replace the lower seal and the windscreen seal. Put the windshield on some car seats and put it off in a corner to protect it.

Go back to get it a couple months later, sure enough, broken. Nice.

Patrick,

Glad I could help. I think I'll make up a card too.
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StevenBrown
Frequent User
Username: stevenbrown

Post Number: 85
Registered: 10-2008
Posted on Saturday, 09 December, 2017 - 07:58 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

When I purchased my Silver Spur had a well regarded mark specialist in the USA go through everything. Had them make a list of wrongs. We then rated them on what needed attention worst to could live with for awhile. I do this yearly now, from needs fixing now to who cares if the glove box light is dead! So far my repair bills have gone down and I fix the easy stuff my self. So a few hundred a year VS big bucks.
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ross kowalski
Grand Master
Username: cdfpw

Post Number: 659
Registered: 11-2015
Posted on Sunday, 10 December, 2017 - 10:27 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

OK,

I backed the RR out of the barn with the calipers removed and clipped some trees to stop.
We've all done that, but I also once backed a 48 Cadillac out of a barn with no brakes and clipped some trees to stop.

You might think the lesson is always look for braking trees before backing out of a barn without brakes. Really the lesson is automatic gearboxes are just accidents waiting to happen.
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Patrick Francis
Prolific User
Username: jackpot

Post Number: 209
Registered: 11-2016
Posted on Monday, 11 December, 2017 - 08:41 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Imagine a narrow garage where the car doors only open enough for you to squeeze out.
Now imagine driving up to this garage in a nicely painted Jaguar MK2, and getting out of the car to open the garage door.
Then imagine watching the car suddenly come towards you with the door open since you left it in "D".
Imagine you squeeze to the side of the garage as the car travels into the garage, the side wall shutting the open door, and the end wall stopping its progress.
I didn't have to imagine any of this!!
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Paul Marshall
New User
Username: welshbentleyboy

Post Number: 4
Registered: 4-2017
Posted on Tuesday, 12 December, 2017 - 01:35 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I was happily washing my Daimler Double Six on my drive. My 2 children were playing in the car and I had opened the rear passenger to clean the sills when my son moved the gear lever out of Park and the car rolled slowly down the drive and stopped when the door met the house wall. The wall was ok but the car needed a new door.
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StevenBrown
Frequent User
Username: stevenbrown

Post Number: 88
Registered: 10-2008
Posted on Tuesday, 12 December, 2017 - 06:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Wow Mr. Marshall, and with my favorite car of all time too. The Daimler name here is taken by Mercedes. So they sold the double six here as Jaguar's. Both my parents had one during the 1980's. I like the Daimler version better. Like a Bentley badged and grilled Corniche! One day, I'll find a suitable left hand drive Double Six here!
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ross kowalski
Grand Master
Username: cdfpw

Post Number: 664
Registered: 11-2015
Posted on Tuesday, 12 December, 2017 - 10:18 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Patrick F,

I feel slightly better, only because I am in good company.
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Paul Marshall
New User
Username: welshbentleyboy

Post Number: 5
Registered: 4-2017
Posted on Tuesday, 12 December, 2017 - 09:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I had Double Six Vanden Plas saloon in 1978 which was the one I had the incident with. A few years later I had a Double Six Coupe. When I first bought it I took it out for a spin. I took it up to 60 mph and decided to test the kick down. It certainly went faster but did not change down so I pressed a bit harder. Again no change down so I kept pressing harder and harder. I gave up at 95 mph and took my foot off. Unfortunately I had jammed the throttle behind the trim in the footwell. Fortunately I was on a dual carriage way with a hard shoulder! Not quite sure what to do I just turned the ignition off and cruised to the side.The reason that it had happened was that they only kick down at under 55 mph.
Brilliant cars but badly put together! Not as good as a Bentley.
Paul

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