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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1240
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Friday, 23 November, 2018 - 17:41:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I have been studying the behaviourial aspects of my feline, one PussNasty for over four years.

First things cats love pester you for food not just at their designated meal times.

Cats became much more friendly when hungry. It does not matter how much you feed them as they are always hungry.

PussNasty is capable of taking down a rabbit of her own size, cutting it in half and consuming the entrails.

Hannibal Lector mouth guards will not work on cats, they will find away to kill and consume masked or not.

Hanging 22 bells around your cats neck to stop them eating rare parrots do not work. Its takes a cat very little time to compensate for bell ringing when hunting.

Cats only want to be stroked, cuddled when they are in the mood. Attempting to cuddle or stroke outside the times they set for you will cause offence.

Cats have big mood swings. If they are bouncing of the walls of your house then they are happy.

All cats can swim better than you can and they never took lessons.

The only time to use your cat as a toilet brush is AFTER rigor mortis has set in.

The only the big problem with cats is that you never know when nor why they will ignore you next.

Cats are useless at rounding up chickens.

Cats can be taken to a taxidemist and stuffed if you get sad about your cat dying.

Cats cannot use fishing rods but expect you to.

Any cat is capable of smelling if your steak has gone off.

Cats have no problem beating the living daylights out of each other when you are trying to sleep because they don't care if you can hear them spitting, howling, hissing as they attempt to take an other cat or cats apart.

A cat will jump up on your Rolls Royce and sleep on the top regardless of how many times you tell them to get off the car.

Cats do not know how to use mobile or land based phones.

Cats do not know how to read the time but to them unless they are asleep all time is meal time.
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1739
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Friday, 23 November, 2018 - 19:05:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

that seems to describe my cat down to a T.
I have always been a dog man but i had to rescue two kittens last Easter. One died and the other made it. It is now a cat that rules the house and indeed the dogs too.
The parrot hates the cat and between them a war will one day break out that will make me very unhappy
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Mark Luft
Prolific User
Username: bentleyman1993

Post Number: 230
Registered: 10-2016
Posted on Tuesday, 27 November, 2018 - 07:47:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I like cats. I really do, I just can't eat a whole one.
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 2046
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Tuesday, 27 November, 2018 - 08:45:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Vlad.
You have described an ex girlfriend of mine puuurfectly.

Iím with you Mark.
The fur gets stuck in my teeth
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David Gore
Moderator
Username: david_gore

Post Number: 3074
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Tuesday, 27 November, 2018 - 09:56:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Feral cats are great bait for lobster [cray fish] traps...........

Feral domestic cats are a major contributor to the extinction of many of our rare and unique Australian animals and birds.

P.S. Patrick - your last comment has sent my brain into overdrive; will say no more .

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