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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1214
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Tuesday, 13 November, 2018 - 09:45 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Yesterday, just as I was about to climb up a ladder to nail down some more aluminium sheeting on a structure I had erected to cover the Spririt and Cadillac I noticed a young couple, the male part of whom called out my name.

The pub had sent them. Indeed a young chap, Matthew the Mathematician from Manchester UK and his partner Sol, a delightful young lady, business graduate and National Champion Baddmington player from Chile.

Matthew had purchased a late model VW Golf in Sydney and had driven to a town near Ayr in Queensland to pick mangos where he met Sol and together romance blooming they had hatched a plan to drive the Golf to South Australia to pick grapes.

They had made it to Mount Coolon and then taken the road to Moranbah and got about 20 minutes from my place when they took out the sump, and thus emptying the oil completely from the engine. Thereafter, they had hitched a ride on a road train back to the Mount Coolon pub where they were sent to me.

I towed the car back to my place with the Falcon Pano and that was a mission because you see, our VW friends had decided to build a car that would never breakdown and thus there was nowhere to attach the tow rope except on the lower suspension wishbone of the hideous thing. That resulted in the tow rop being snapped twice as the car ran over it as the young English chap was not exactly dapper at being towed.

Got them to my place and put them up in the bus for free for the night and off they went with the tow truck the next morning back to Bowen.

It was hilarious to watch his face drop when I told him that no, there was a good chance a new sump for the beloved Golf could take a week to arrive in any close town, would be hideously expensive and so would the fitment fee and no I was not interested in purchasing a Golf not even for $50.

The upshot is both Matthew and Sol loved the Spririt and thought the Camargue was stunning. Small world, but Matthew's dad used to drive him to school in a Phantom.
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 2034
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Sunday, 18 November, 2018 - 06:03 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Great read Vlad.

Why ANYONE would by a European car to drive in the Australian outback is beyond me!!

Anyway, they got to meet a classic Australian and saw some great hospitality.

Your a good man Vlad.
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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1262
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Wednesday, 28 November, 2018 - 08:20 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Patrick I just got a lovely email from out intrepid traveling Manchester Mathematican and his Chilean Sidekick Champion Badmington player.

They paid $500 to have the Golf with the smashed sump towed back to Bowen where the mechanics there obviously glued up the hole in the sump.

Then they drove the thing to South Australia where they smashed the sump again and are having a new sump fitted. Their intentions are to drive it to Sydney for Xmas from South Australia.

Yes the poor chap being a mathematican obviously believes in a theory once announced by one of my more shady mates "Two wrongs don't make a right but three definitely do"

I just hope they don't hit a kangaroo or worse, the four legged steak vendor. The little Golf does not have a roo or bull bar fitted -- that's because there is absolutely nothing to fit one too!

Perhaps he is a writer researching a future book titled "How not to travel by car Down Under"

I can't imagine what his Phantom owning Dad in Manchester will make of his son's calculations and madcap vehicular decisions.

Wait till she drags him to Chile, now that will produce some more laughs no doubt!
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1746
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Thursday, 29 November, 2018 - 03:54 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

why on earth would the twat choose a VW golf for this application? Does he use balloons for condoms?cardboard for underwear? blankets for umbrellas... etc etc....
Tell him I have a great jacket for him in Dubai if he wants it..... free of charge....
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Larry Kavanagh
Prolific User
Username: shadow_11

Post Number: 275
Registered: 5-2016
Posted on Thursday, 29 November, 2018 - 07:53 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I get the distinct impression that Omar is attempting to abdicate the responsibility bestowed on him to wear that jacket and other adornments with the honour and enthusiasm expected of a true Grand Master. I hope and pray that he will do us all proud in his unflinching dedication to duty and prove my doubts wrong and thus avoid the possibility of severe castigation by his peers.
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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1265
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Thursday, 29 November, 2018 - 09:08 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Larry I spotted that too. Omar is definitely attempting to wriggle out of THE JACKET. There can be no doubt that Omar is as cunning as an outhouse rat. Subtly cunning too.It is more of a diplomatic cunning I think.

Omar I think the poor lad from Manchester whose dad used to drive him to school in a Phantom suffers from perhaps a tad of impracticality of the English education system. I have seen this before in Samara Russia where I had to get a job at an extremely large school teaching the kiddies there English to get loot to pay for Svetlana's and my vodka habit and a little extra for Mama both for food and to keep her calm as she was very very how should I say - Stalinistic.

I became a friend of a very lovely Russian lady English teacher whose ex-husband was one of the Soviet Union's top nuclear physicists.

"My husband is an extremely brilliant man but he could not change a light globe or fix a leaking tap, in fact he could not fix anything inside our apartment and I was constantly embarrassed having to go to my neighbours to get their help, so my husband had to go, yes I threw him out! A Russian man has to be able to fix things or he is no use to a woman."

The remarkable thing though I thought of the mathematician was his tenacity in having smashed the Golf's sump twice, he was determined to drive the silly car across half of Australia to get to Sorney by Xmas.Perhaps it was his love of Golf!
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Christian S. Hansen
Grand Master
Username: enquiring_mind

Post Number: 998
Registered: 4-2015
Posted on Thursday, 29 November, 2018 - 09:28 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Is it a matter of "low" sumps, or "tall" road irregularities? Are no "smoother" roads available or was he deliberately taking the "off road" experience to see what trouble he could get into when far from civilization?

P.S. I can see the "responsibility" to wear the jacket as one thing but with the "adornments" included that becomes something else entirely.
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Christian S. Hansen
Grand Master
Username: enquiring_mind

Post Number: 1000
Registered: 4-2015
Posted on Thursday, 29 November, 2018 - 10:41 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

P.P.S.
Truth be known, and at the risk of welcoming scorn and ridicule, I rather like that jacket...absent the adornments needless to say.
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Larry Kavanagh
Prolific User
Username: shadow_11

Post Number: 276
Registered: 5-2016
Posted on Thursday, 29 November, 2018 - 12:11 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

A few years back a certain married lady in my locality belted the sump plug of her husband's newly acquired Mercedes-Benz on a rough laneway causing the threaded hole to become elongated and engine oil to leak out. She drove on regardless until the engine eventually failed to function as it had run completely dry of lubrication. She had noticed a warning light on the facia illuminating for some time before the lovely new Mercedes-Benz engine eventually seized but she hadn't considered the warning to be a serious matter worthy of urgent attention. Naturally the manufacturer's warranty didn't cover the damage nor was her demented husband too pleased when he got the news. Life can be cruel.
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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1267
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Thursday, 29 November, 2018 - 12:27 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

That's what I call a high maintenance women.

I was once married to an Italian girl. Her brothers told me that she should not drive because she was dangerous. I didn't believe them.

One day she came home with the groceries and said that she had scratched the old Holden (Aussie type Chev sort of) she drove because some fool had parked too close to her in the shopping centre.

The other car was a brand new Holden Commodore.

I went to look at the car and noticed both the front and rear mudguards (fenders) were badly crumpled.

I told her that that does not really look too much like a scratch and she told me she had to go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth etc until she got her car out.

Her Holden was a 1970 HG, a very solid car compared to the Commodore.

I asked her if she left a note on the other car with our address and phone number and she said she didn't.

I said "Gooooooooood" She would have written off the whole side of somebody's car and if you think it worried her one bit I can tell you it didn't.

Thankfully these days she is driving around Charleston South Carolina in a pick up truck!
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1747
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Friday, 30 November, 2018 - 03:11 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Christian my lovely Christian......
You and I could do business here.....
Perhaps some private dealing between us without the rancid ears of Kirillov or Kavangh may help us conclude a great deal where everyone will be laughing all the way into the sunset.....


I think we now have a huge question to ask our Vladimir..... How many wives have you had mate?????
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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1269
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Friday, 30 November, 2018 - 10:20 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Omar, too many mate, too many. But fear not Omar for I shall never stumble into the noxious wallet vaporizing caper again!

Christian, THE JACKET, must be properly decked out.

Private messaging from many contributors point out clearly that Omar keeps this most hallowed item under his pillow at night.
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Larry Kavanagh
Prolific User
Username: shadow_11

Post Number: 277
Registered: 5-2016
Posted on Friday, 30 November, 2018 - 11:02 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I've heard on the grapevine that Omar actually dresses it in rose petals before he places it under his pillow.
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 2048
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Friday, 30 November, 2018 - 12:40 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I heard he secures it into a bullet proof & fire proof glass fronted frame, hanging on the wall amongst his other automotive treasures for all to admire.
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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 1271
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Friday, 30 November, 2018 - 02:04 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Nonsense! In the daytime when he is away swishing his Azure around the Wall St of Dubai he keeps it in his safe attached to a live grenade and to get near the safe it is necessary to negotiate with three nasty Dobermans with cropped ears and attitudes of bite first eat later.

That is no ordinary jacket and Omar knows it.
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 2050
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Friday, 30 November, 2018 - 02:26 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

I bet Omar has a secure compound similar to your country lair Vlad.
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1749
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Saturday, 01 December, 2018 - 04:41 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Gentlemen,
I am secretly working with Christian to ensure we enhance his wardrobe with classy clobber.
Christian mate - that is one cracking jacket and i know just how much people are willing to pay for it - but you my friend will get a very special price from me indeed. I will also throw in a working battery for the lights (Unlike Benoit's crap attempt at putting a duff battery and expecting it to work)....

I seriously need to find that bloody camera that Larry and Patrick have installed in my house - they seem to know so much true information - it keeps me up at night figuring out how they have installed the surveillance equipment. They even see detail like rose petals FFS.... how do they do it?
Yes the infamous compound wall is a building regulation requirement in Dubai.
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Larry Kavanagh
Prolific User
Username: shadow_11

Post Number: 278
Registered: 5-2016
Posted on Saturday, 01 December, 2018 - 12:10 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

The secret camera could possibly have been hidden in one of the jacket lights by Benoit. Don't tell Benoit that I gave away the secret Omar. Meanwhile we're all enjoying the video link - you little devil!
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1752
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Monday, 03 December, 2018 - 02:50 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

The censored messages were brilliant.
For the benefit of the general public - there were three cracking messages that had me rolling round the floor with laughter. But they have since been censored.... even though they were not really offensive in any way.
Light banter is always good for a laugh.

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