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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 944
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Wednesday, 13 June, 2018 - 07:07 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

All Ford Falcons built up to 1976 are rising in value. After that date when Ford decided to start building fuel efficient cars especially ones with plastic door handles and bumper bars and computer EFI systems, the cars when new sold BUT now are worth - what - actually they are not worth anything at all.

I have a female platonic friend who is a major stoner. I had warned her that if she got caught driving stoned she would get busted by the cops.

Indeed, sadly for the unemployed middle aged lady, she was fined $1,200 and lost her licence for 6 months and is now possibly totally unemployable and yet she was the best bus driver in the whole depot.

Her 1992 Falcon has snazzy old school mag wheels which would go well on the old 1990 Falcon Panel Van I use to smash the cows and kangaroos off my road.

She asked me to talk to a friend of mine who owns a wrecking yard in the coastal city where she lives if he will remove the car from her place as it is no longer registered and she does not want it anymore.

I told her I would give her $100 for the mag wheels, she accepted my offer and then I rang my mate with the wrecking yard offering to pay his $60 tow fee to tow it to the yard.

He does not want the rest of the car for free! He told me the car is not worth taking for free, that he has hundreds of them and even the parts off them are not selling well.

Now if that is not a sign the Ford Australia really screwed the puppy after 1976, I don't know what is.

Now to get those mag wheels I thought.... The tow fee from this city to my country lair is $400 and with the price of the mags that is $500 all up and I could use the front of the car to clean up my vans image but that would not last for long for although I have greatly honed driving skills for dodging the kangaroos, the fact is some kangaroos will approach the van at 60 kilometres an hour and appear to come out of nowhere. When you are travelling at 110 kilometres an hour on the gravel road and hit a kangaroo travelling at 60 kilometres an hour that is a 170 kilometres an hour impact, yes over 100 mph impact and it sounds like an explosion, a big explosion.

These animals are nice and furry and cute to tourists but they are also very heavy and really make a mess even with the large bull bar on the front of the van.

I have a friend who would like to come up to my place and hit the grog and I could get him to drive my van and tow me in the car with the mags I want but the problem is he is like this ......Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle and Socrates was permanently pissed..... yes the problem is not that he does not have a licence or that he was a professional road train driver, the problem is he is permanently smashed on beer and whine.

It is not fun to be towed in a car in which the engine does not run without power steering or power brakes and a professional tow truck driver once told me that towing cars with a tow rope is now illegal in Queensland.

What to do.... those mag wheels keep calling me....just like a FHC Rolls Royce Corniche.

And then it came to me .....I am soon to inherit a bird called Roger the Rooster Rapist. Roger has a problem. He goes cock a doodle doo in a small country town and the local council has demanded the Roger either be croaked or removed or both as Roger's neighbour who is only home once a month lodged a complaint.

The problem with hens and roosters where I live is that the local dingo, wild dog, wedge tailed eagle and fox population love to jump barb wire fences and kill an eat poultry. Then you have hundreds of Kites, read small eagle, who circle my country lair constantly plundering the rodent family.

And here is where a 1992 Falcon is worth something --- it will make a very swish up market hen and rooster abode --- and Ford Australia, that's what you get when you start turning out garbage cars!

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