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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 891
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Friday, 04 May, 2018 - 01:20 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

The other day a very large Eastern Grey kangaroo took out the driver's side front indicator and moved the Bull/Roo bar 1 foot to the left. Ah a month's meat for my partner in crime PussNasty I thought as I tossed the carcass on the roof.

I had previously glued that indicator assembly in with sikaflex because it was the wrong shape and did not fit properly.

Later when I was leaving the supermarket shopping centre I spotted a police car and then it was behind me flashing its lights.

Up came the new Sergeant in town.

Right random breath test which naturally I passed obviously to his disappointment. Next licence check. Sorry, but I posted my driver's licence to my retirement fund for identification but here's my 18 plus card and the number is the same so you can run that.

Returning from the patrol car the Sarge utters Vladimir this vehicle does not look roadworthy to me.

Perish the thought Sarge but the road to my place on the mountain is dick nasty so this Pano HAS to be roadworthy to survive.

Well for starters you have no drivers side front indicator assembly and the windscreen has more cracks in it than a Sydney whorehouse so look I can put this van off the road right now.

That's true Sarge but.... Fix the windscreen and the indicator and anything else it needs or you are off the road next time I see you in town....Oh no you're him!

Who! You are the one none of the cops in Bowen will pull over....the paperwork could take days....

He starts to run towards his patrol car.

Come back I'm lonely and you haven't asked me about all these bullet casings on the dashboard or given me the cannabis drug test...as I fire up a half smoked spiff.

Go away you rotten swine, leave me alone, I don't you want even near my lockup, I have innocent citizens to arrest!

My other car is a Rolls Royce...its a Camargue one of only 184 made RHD....

Your crazy, get lost or I'll call the Army!!!!

I was in the army Sarge, Captain Larrakeyah Barracks Darwin front line with Major O'Reilly and his collection of poisonous frill necked lizards and a truck load of mortars for fireworks day come up and see me in Mount Coolon sometime I have a tab at the bar.

Never, he shouted and then took off like a scalded cat.

Hence, I have just crowbarred the front indicator out of my Russian Niva and like any upstanding law abiding citizen in civvy street am gluing it onto my bullbar.

Cripes I thought....why do the police always behave strangely around me...I mean I haven't been raided by the homicide squad again for well over 7 years!

People are just strange these days....
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David Gore
Moderator
Username: david_gore

Post Number: 2874
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Friday, 04 May, 2018 - 06:06 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Vladimir,

A forum classic that could only involve you......

The bush cop still exists at least in Queensland.

.
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1489
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Saturday, 05 May, 2018 - 02:46 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Dear Vlad,
when you come to visit me please be nice to our cops..... and no splifs please...... and also good behaviour please........


and what about your prostitute windscreen? when will you change that?
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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 892
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Saturday, 05 May, 2018 - 05:35 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Omar Omar Omar, my dear Dubian brother, know this: before I enter a country I have not been to before I always research that countries laws and customs meticulously.

It boils down the old saying "when in Rome do as the Romans do".

Sadly many Australians are enjoying the insides of foreign prisons because they misbehave especially in Asia and Asians just won't tolerate their stupidities. This is the reason I never take Australians into Russia because Aussies are a totally uncontrollable mob wherever they go and especially when they hit the booze.

Be rest assured I will not embarrass you. My main vice like yours is cars anyway....
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Patrick Ryan
Grand Master
Username: patrick_r

Post Number: 1879
Registered: 4-2016
Posted on Saturday, 05 May, 2018 - 05:49 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Omar,
Be assured we Aussies know how to behave.
Please see recent pic from a local party

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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 893
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Saturday, 05 May, 2018 - 09:48 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Nice one Patrick, as if I didn't already have Omar worried!
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Omar M. Shams
Grand Master
Username: omar

Post Number: 1498
Registered: 4-2009
Posted on Sunday, 06 May, 2018 - 03:10 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Hey Patrick how did you get that photo of me and my neighbour?

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