| Author | Message | ||
     Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov Grand Master Username: soviet Post Number: 748 Registered: 2-2013 |
Ah yes so I have decided to rent a house with a garage to safely store and work on the new acquisition the Deep Purple RR Silver Spirit. Can't believe I will go from living in the back of my Ford Falcon Panel Van to living in a house but one must make sacrifices for RR. Lots of cash in the bank so it should not be hard to find a place for the RR. Now this is where matters turn totally weird. The city I work in Monday to Friday at the bus depot has been struck by the mining downturn viciously. Many people have been bankrupted and even top business people have been led way on a thick chain after all their assets have been seized. The amount of empty offices and business locations is evident even to the blind. Add to that there is a massive amount of available houses sitting empty. This is from little houses to bloody mansions or the in between, the old 3 bedroom, double bathroom, double lock up garage with yard caper. So I see all these flash places for $250 to $300 per week that are good for me because they have a double lock up garage yesssssss. So four days ago I send two emails to the big real estate agent who seems to have 95 percent of the market. Lets call her Annette the Toad. No reply whatsoever. So I telephone her twice, naturally, she does not answer because she is a very busy person. So I leave two messages on her message bank. No reply whatsoever. The Deep Purple Rolls is arriving very soon. Sure, the director of the bus company I work for has no problem with my car being at the depot but I want the bloody car to be locked up safely protected from the elements eg cyclones, sea salt, ants, vandals, the sun and especially the sun etc. Hence the need for a double lockup garage. So I call Annette the Toad's office and ask if Annette still works there and am told yes but I must come in and fill in an application to rent before anybody can help me. So I do that. Sadly Australia has changed horrifically in the past 20 years and to rent now you have to INDENTIFY YOURSELF not just with your drivers licence but with documents proving 100 points. The drivers licence only gets you 30 points. Plus plus you need written references proving you are not going to put a wrecking ball to the house you are proposing to rent. So I do this. Two days later yep you got it: No reply whatsoever. I decide $#*&*&%^$# this totally. I spot a smaller real estate office. I pull up armed with my 7 by 4 inch screen smart phone. I walk in. I flash the phone at the attractive young lady behind the desk "see this - this is my second Rolls Royce, I just bought it, its on its way here, now I need a double lockup garage attached to a house if possible but not necessary $200 to $300 per week, I have a cat called PussNasty and I have lots of cash in the bank - do you want to rent a place to me - yes or no?" Perhaps I should add that both my arms are heavily tattooed in Russian Language. Flash as a black rat with a gold tooth, she has places for me to look at but none have a double garage. There is a place with a single garage and bingo another woman appears and says "I will take you there right now to look at it." We get there I step it out and decided the Deep Purple Rolls Royce will fit in it. The rent asked drops immediately because this house has been unoccupied for "quite sometime". Its straight over the road from my favourite restaurant where I am known on first name basis and looked after very well because I order big once a week. From this house I can walk to work so that's about a saving of $100 a week in gas. I am taking this place for 3 months and then I am taking out a very large advertisement in the local paper which I have advocated $1000 to. "WANTED HOUSE TO RENT in BOWEN WITH LARGE DOUBLE LOCK UP GARAGE FOR MY ROLLS ROYCE. HAVE CASH LOTS OF IT. CALL ME ON BLAH BLAH REAL ESTATE AGENTS NEED NOT APPLY - ESPECIALLY THE LARGEST ONE" Now if I was back against the wall with a large investment property with a huge mortgage Annette to Toad would not be asked to find somebody to rent my house out. I suspect she drives a black BMW four wheel drive. I suspect she will want to talk to me soon. Pity that. Postnote: Bowen if full of young girls backpacking from UK (English, Irish and Scot), Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Sweden,France Denmark you name it they are here along with Brazilians and indeed Argentinians. And I have two rooms to rent out! Errk, must keep the fridge stocked and the music cranked. Must stop PussNasty from goosestepping - horrible habit what what old boy. | ||
| Omar M. Shams Grand Master Username: omar Post Number: 1122 Registered: 4-2009 |
tattoos........... both arms............. brazillian chicks............... gold tooth............ pussnasty.............. cozy garage for Deep Purple................... we just have to visit you in your new house mate....... | ||
| Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov Grand Master Username: soviet Post Number: 753 Registered: 2-2013 |
And of course Omar, even though we know you changed your last name to Shams from Sharif to protect your body from hordes of young nubile lasses, you must visit and then we will travel to my country lair where the madness will continue.... By the way I have my eye one one of your convertibles but have to wait until our government gives up trying to protect the swine dealerships in OZ who are soon to see a savage but justified flaying and croaking because Sir is jolly baity. | ||
| Patrick Ryan Grand Master Username: patrick_r Post Number: 1184 Registered: 4-2016 |
This has all the hallmarks of a good movie! Of which, Omar & I are already signed up for. Now!! How can I get my company car to Bowen, and set up a country office???? | ||
| Omar M. Shams Grand Master Username: omar Post Number: 1124 Registered: 4-2009 |
That movie is soooooo waiting to happen Patrick. Roll on September and let the madness begin. | ||
| Patrick Ryan Grand Master Username: patrick_r Post Number: 1196 Registered: 4-2016 |
Ill bring the Directors chair & bull horn Omar. |
