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Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov
Grand Master
Username: soviet

Post Number: 328
Registered: 2-2013
Posted on Saturday, 21 November, 2015 - 09:54:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

You would think in the west that kiddies at school would be taught how not to be suckered in by sales propaganda but sadly no. I was taught book binding and how to make a metal funnel. How to make a meta funnel is good now because the only funnels you can buy are Chinese plastic ones which split eventually due to the fantastically high quality of anything that comes out of China..

So I thought I would set out how I interpret sales yap and see what comments I get

Be quick! -- Be a mug

Urgent sale! -- This is costing me money

Bargain -- Its not a bargain

Rare -- Its not rare

POA -- I want too much

No tire kickers -- Don't ask me questions

No dreamers -- Just buy it and don't think

Easy restoration -- It will cost a fortune to
restore
Easy restoration -- I know nothing about
restoring

The only one in
the entire country -- I am a guessing machine

One owner --- One owner who never serviced
it once

Low kilometres -- The clock was easy to wind
back

Your wife will-- Divorce is a certainty
love it

Update model-- It has some tacky add ons

No rust -- You can't see rust its bogged

Only one! -- There is more

Well sorted -- It needs work

Restored -- Some work has been done

Good condition for
its age -- It a wreck
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Christian S. Hansen
Frequent User
Username: enquiring_mind

Post Number: 89
Registered: 4-2015
Posted on Saturday, 21 November, 2015 - 12:02:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

It doesn't exist - We don't have it in our inventory.

They don't make it - We don't have it in our inventory.
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Christian S. Hansen
Frequent User
Username: enquiring_mind

Post Number: 92
Registered: 4-2015
Posted on Saturday, 21 November, 2015 - 17:13:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Odometer reads 68,000(or pick your number) - odometer has only five digits and who knows how many times it has turned over.
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Jan Forrest
Grand Master
Username: got_one

Post Number: 880
Registered: 1-2008
Posted on Saturday, 21 November, 2015 - 22:06:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

Fully and lovingly restored - How effin' much?

Compact and bijou - too small for normal human beings.

Galley kitchen - Too many cooks may spoil the broth, but as there's only space for one person in here ...

Stocks running out - Some idiot in inventory ordered too many and now we're stuck with them.

While stocks last - see above. Alternatively rush out and buy a few to resell on eBay.

Good spare tyre - barely legal and definitely lethal in the wet.

Barn find - found in a field within 100 miles of a barn and almost completely rusted away.

Once belonged to - Someone who died 20 years ago and will be branded a paedophile later this year.

Fully loaded - has a few toys that will fail/have already failed that will cost a fortune to repair.

Air con disconnected to save fuel - air con busted and too expensive to fix.

Front free wheel hubs - 4WD doesn't work at the front.
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Robert Noel Reddington
Grand Master
Username: bob_uk

Post Number: 730
Registered: 5-2015
Posted on Sunday, 22 November, 2015 - 04:40:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

One careful owner. The rest were lunatics.

Very rare. Because they couldn't sell them due to the car being useless.
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Christian S. Hansen
Frequent User
Username: enquiring_mind

Post Number: 94
Registered: 4-2015
Posted on Sunday, 22 November, 2015 - 08:31:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IP

To paraphrase a Benny Hill skit:
"...not to mention..." - "I told you not to mention..."