| Author | Message | ||
     Robert Noel Reddington Prolific User Username: bob_uk Post Number: 265 Registered: 5-2015 |
Today on Judge Judy a bicyclists had an accident. And someone got burglarised. I was bicycling. He was burglarising. In the UK we use cyclist and burgled. I notice that American police use lots of long words. | ||
| David Gore Moderator Username: david_gore Post Number: 1678 Registered: 4-2003 |
Australian police media liaison people have a language all of their own; quaint and verbose. Why use one word when a convoluted multi-word description can be used............... | ||
| Bob Reynolds Prolific User Username: bobreynolds Post Number: 282 Registered: 8-2012 |
Yeah, 'burglarised' is one of those strange American words that always makes me laugh. Just like 'gotten'.  | ||
| Jan Forrest Grand Master Username: got_one Post Number: 839 Registered: 1-2008 |
I just gotta ax one question: What is yoos guys on about? | ||
| Vladimir Ivanovich Kirillov Prolific User Username: soviet Post Number: 285 Registered: 2-2013 |
Yes Jan I don't understand either. Are they talking about one chap on a bicycle stealing the other chap's bicycle or wallet? I guess a bicycle would be a good get away vehicle as they don't have number plates YET! But no doubt soon. Or is Bob teasing our American friends for buggering the English language? I am puzzled. | ||
| Geoff Wootton Grand Master Username: dounraey Post Number: 829 Registered: 5-2012 |
Hi Vladimir The second option - Bob is teasing our American friends. In fact the two incidents are unrelated, other than they use American nomenclature that is a little strange to English ears. Anyway, now for some Aussie teasing - does anyone know the result of the 1st test? Geoff | ||
| Jan Forrest Grand Master Username: got_one Post Number: 842 Registered: 1-2008 |
The visitors came second. | ||
| John Kilkenny Prolific User Username: john_kilkenny Post Number: 207 Registered: 6-2005 |
That's true though England had to hire an Australian coach. | ||
| Jan Forrest Grand Master Username: got_one Post Number: 844 Registered: 1-2008 |
Are you sure they didn't just use the local bus service? | ||
| David Gore Moderator Username: david_gore Post Number: 1683 Registered: 4-2003 |
Just enjoy your short time in the sun - it will not last long. Normal outcomes will resume shortly....... | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Prolific User Username: bob_uk Post Number: 290 Registered: 5-2015 |
On USA TV today a dog went to the rest room on someones lawn. On OZ TV yesterday a fecking dog done a dump on the lawn Blue. Guys from downunder are so British. I once wrote the words dog *hit in full on a police report and no one battered an eyelid. Working on a police dog van. Those Guys from OZ certainly can be testing cricket wise. I used to bowl. I was dangerous if the batsman protected his wicket I would body line him. My school won the locals. Then we met a team who did the same only better. I went to quite a posh school. They were big on rugby and cricket and Olympic sports. I throughly enjoyed school. I like watching the cricket highlights. Even playing cricket can get boring. Standing field watching the bowler take his time. Can't stand tennis. TV poker good. | ||
| Jan Forrest Grand Master Username: got_one Post Number: 846 Registered: 1-2008 |
Don't forget that these are the same people who renamed 'Easy Start' as 'Start Ya Bastard'. | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Prolific User Username: bob_uk Post Number: 294 Registered: 5-2015 |
By the time one has resorted to easy start its definitely a case of start ya bastard @#$$/=÷×@!/^$?,^^. When the chips are down swearing and shouting usually fixes most things. | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Prolific User Username: bob_uk Post Number: 297 Registered: 5-2015 |
Elvis Presley shot one of his cars because it failed to proceed. Fake bullet hole transfers are £5 for 20. | ||
| Bob Reynolds Prolific User Username: bobreynolds Post Number: 295 Registered: 8-2012 |
I often wondered why American people spent so much time in the bathroom. How many baths do you need in a day?  | ||
| David Gore Moderator Username: david_gore Post Number: 1685 Registered: 4-2003 |
Bob, A more pertinent question, why do women go to the bathroom [BTW I abhor this euphemism] in pairs and not on their own? | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Prolific User Username: bob_uk Post Number: 298 Registered: 5-2015 |
In case I am hiding in there. Bob UK | ||
| Brian Vogel Grand Master Username: guyslp Post Number: 1520 Registered: 6-2009 |
David, Seriously, what would you use instead of go to "the bathroom," "the powder room," or "the restroom?" The only things I can think of are either so vague, e.g., "excuse themselves," or a bit more graphic than I'd like to hear in virtually any situation. When it comes to bodily functions, we're all quite familiar with them without having anything spelled out. I always loved Judith Martin's (AKA Miss Manners) answer to someone who asked what they should do if they passed gas and were heard doing so (paraphrased): Socially, this simply never happens. That it occurs in reality is irrelevant. One says nothing, ever, since this simply does not happen. Brian, who hates a lot of euphemisms ("memory care" being one I loathe), but not "go to the bathroom" in its several social forms | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Grand Master Username: bob_uk Post Number: 303 Registered: 5-2015 |
Queen Elizabeth II was in a horse drawn coach with a head of state and one of the horses farted. The head of state apologised and The Queen said oh I thought it was the horse. | ||
| David Gore Moderator Username: david_gore Post Number: 1687 Registered: 4-2003 |
Brian, My favourites are two classic Australian [and British for that matter] expressions that, sadly, are rarely used today: "I am going to see a man about a dog" "I am going to water my horse" A lot more euphemisms are on the following link claiming they are British but, from my travels, are used widely in the English-speaking world: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:English_toilet_slang Seriously, I prefer the simple expression "I am going to the toilet". Says it all really...... | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Grand Master Username: bob_uk Post Number: 304 Registered: 5-2015 |
For Brian to understand he needs to watch the Carry On Films. In one film Carry on up the Kyber Pass Kenneth Williams played a war lord called the Karsi. And Sid James played Sir Sidney Rough-Diamond the British colonial power. The plot was based on what the soldier's had on under their kilts. I just use I going to the loo. | ||
| Brian Vogel Grand Master Username: guyslp Post Number: 1522 Registered: 6-2009 |
Bob, Could be quite amusing. Many years ago my cousin was living in New Zealand when she had her second daughter (and the first was only 2 years old). The song, "Goin' to the Zoo," was aptly appropriated and, when the occasion called for it, converted to, "Goin' to the Loo." To my ears, other than one being a Britishism (former empire wide) for restroom, and one being the name of the room in US homes where the toilet is located, going to the loo/bathroom are equivalent. Brian P.S. The "tradition" (or, perhaps, urban legend) is that one has nothing on under one's kilt. An earlier rendition of "going commando." | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Grand Master Username: bob_uk Post Number: 308 Registered: 5-2015 |
The plot thickened when Charles Hawtry playing a soft private got ambushed by the Burpers and found that the private had wollen underwear on. Eventually the soldiers line up and lifted their kilts showing tackle out, which frightened off the Karsi and the Burpers. The soldiers also went to a harem dressed as women looking obviously like men in drag. Typical british humour. One night I was sitting down in the garden I looked and saw the majesties of the stars, diamonds on dark blue velvet. I pondered why I am here and then thought I must get a roof put on this toilet. Les Dawson. I met an old mate and I said hows the wife he said dead. I said what happened. He said I buried her in the yard. He took me to show me the grave. I said why have you left her arse sticking out. He said I needed somewhere to park my bike. Billy Conelley. Both those jokes were told on prime time TV with millions watching. | ||
| David Gore Moderator Username: david_gore Post Number: 1689 Registered: 4-2003 |
Many years ago, one of my uncles was the C.O. of an Australian Army battalion that had a Scottish heritage and had kilts as part of their ceremonial uniform. The practice of not wearing anything under the kilt was known as being "regimentally dressed". Before the battalion went on parade, there was an inspection to ensure everyone was "regimentally dressed" and appropriate punishment was administered to any offenders in the Mess afterwards. My uncle would not reveal what the punishment was despite many inquiries on my part however I suspect it involved boot polish, Brasso and certain parts of the offender's anatomy. There is a photo of a "regimentally dressed" C.O. with the Queen that has been subject of much discussion regarding its authenticity however current indications are it did occur: http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/queen.asp | ||
| Brian Vogel Grand Master Username: guyslp Post Number: 1524 Registered: 6-2009 |
I've never understood why it's such a big deal whether an individual wishes to wear underwear beneath their kilt or to be "regimentally dressed." I can't imagine a choice that's more personal or more "none of anyone else's business" than this one. For those who recall a certain episode of Seinfeld that involved shrinkage, I can only imagine that there are weather conditions where being regimentally dressed would be ungodly uncomfortable. I won't even get into how my delicate skin reacts to woolens. Then again, male traditions such as this one will always be a complete mystery to me. Even when explained they make no logical sense. Brian | ||
| David Gore Moderator Username: david_gore Post Number: 1691 Registered: 4-2003 |
Brian, It is part of Scottish military heritage going back to the time when the English and the Scots were mortal enemies. The Scots displayed their "wedding tackle" as a sign of contempt for the English military and the English in general. P.S. I am not of Scottish descent having English and Welsh ancestors however the Welsh influence is much greater than the English . | ||
| Christian S. Hansen Experienced User Username: enquiring_mind Post Number: 28 Registered: 4-2015 |
I had an acquaintance who was a Scottish piper who, whenever asked "is anything worn under your kilt", would retort, "I assure you that nothing is worn and that everything is indeed quite functional, thank you." Christian "S" (House of Shaws) Hansen | ||
| Randy Roberson Grand Master Username: wascator Post Number: 495 Registered: 5-2009 |
I have heard 'going to see a man about a dog' here in the southern USA all my life. We are of Scotch-Irish-English descent here (Colvins and Robersons and Craigheads and Owenss are my people)after all. I love "Start Ya Bastard" and want a can but I understand it can't be shipped. My Granddad was a mechanic and called everything in a spray can 'panther pi**'. He was a mess. | ||
| Jan Forrest Grand Master Username: got_one Post Number: 849 Registered: 1-2008 |
Drain the lizard Point Percy at the porcelain Shake hands with my wife's best friend Change the water in the radiator Make room for more beer The list may not be endless, but it definitely covers a lot of ground. | ||
| Chris Miller Grand Master Username: cjm51213 Post Number: 353 Registered: 5-2013 |
In England, "Takin' the pi$$" means something completely different. (Seriously, what sort of nanny software filters that word? Nobody is constrained by george Carlins "Seven Words" any more... Chris. | ||
| Jan Forrest Grand Master Username: got_one Post Number: 850 Registered: 1-2008 |
For the seriously anal people of this world we often substitute 'extracting the urine' for that phrase. | ||
| Nigel Johnson Prolific User Username: nigel_johnson Post Number: 144 Registered: 12-2008 |
I like, I'm going to turn me bike round, or, shed a tear for Nelson. | ||
| richard george yeaman Grand Master Username: richyrich Post Number: 339 Registered: 4-2012 |
I am going to drain the spuds is quite common in Ireland. Richard. | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Grand Master Username: bob_uk Post Number: 325 Registered: 5-2015 |
Drain the Dragon is common Dorset. Take a leak. Splash me boots. One only rents beer. I don't like beer because it makes me pee endlessly. Cyclist not cylist. My spelling is getting worse. I have noticed that Americans are starting to use words from English English. Pub has become more common. Some American English is very descriptive. Like weed wacker. We call them strimmers. I prefer weed wacker. I shall just go and wack me weeds. | ||
| David Gore Moderator Username: david_gore Post Number: 1701 Registered: 4-2003 |
Strine Dictionary; Whipper Snipper = weed wacker = trimmer Useful for more vegetation than weeds - I use mine to trim shrubs and trees rather than pruning; quicker but makes a mess which ends up as mulch. | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Grand Master Username: bob_uk Post Number: 329 Registered: 5-2015 |
Unfortunately my weed wacker is only 110 watts of raw grunt. My son in law has a 3hp two stoke one that works well. Motor bike boots to stop my legs getting stuff thrown at them. I cut stuff down leave it for a few days to dry out then gather it all up into a open bottom bin. So the worms can get in. Then lift the bin 1 year later and all the compost drops out relocate bin and start again. | ||
| David Gore Moderator Username: david_gore Post Number: 1703 Registered: 4-2003 |
I have a Kawasaki brush cutter which would be around 3HP or more. It has a solid drive shaft and a cutting head gearbox so it can take both solid cutting blades for heavy work and a line head for grass/weed cutting and edging. Beautifully engineered but expensive however you always get what you pay for. | ||
| Robert Noel Reddington Grand Master Username: bob_uk Post Number: 331 Registered: 5-2015 |
The electric wacker was given to me. However I have a Honda 4.5 hp 4 stroke rotary mower which is ace. These mowers are expensive but it will outlast me. Give the mower full choke one half hearted pull and its away. Run for 5 seconds then choke off and start mowing. Another useful tool I have is a 24v 200mm chainsaw. This can be used with accuracy for general wood working. Buy cheap buy twice pay more buy once. As the dad said to his son. |
